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Unhealthy Friendships Teens
spend a large percentage of their time with friends. With this being
true, having positive friendships is crucial to your teen’s
well-being. Be alert for friends that say or do things that make
your teen feel bad about who they are. Wanting to feel accepted in a
group of friends can cause a teen to compromise who they are or what
they believe. Unhealthy friendships discourage individuals for having
different likes, dislikes, habits, etc. Another aspect to be on the
look out for is one-sided relationships. If your teen has a friend
that only “takes” from the friendship but never gives back, they
may become drained emotionally. If your teen seems to be acting out of character for themselves after spending time with a friend a red flag should go up. Do remember that teens are very sensitive about their friends and this subject should be approached with care. Try to show your teen you care about them. Explain your concerns gently as not to put your teen on the defense. And as always the best way to show your teen how to chose friends wisely is to live it out in front of them in your life. Healthy Friendships A
good principle in choosing friends is knowing who you should allow to
be influencers and who you should be influencing. Your teen’s best,
closest friends should share the same values and morals as them. They
should be people who encourage them in their spiritual walk and
challenge them to become a better follower as they do the same for
those friends. This inner circle should consist of people they can
take advice from and share struggles with, knowing they will steer
them in a virtuous direction. However, we cannot expect 100% of your teen’s friends to be God fearing, spiritual kids. As the bible says in John:17, we aren’t going to be taken out of this world the minute we become followers of Christ, but we are to learn to stand firm and be influencers in this world. With this being the case, the friends who do not promote the lifestyle we believe in shouldn’t be cut out of our lives completely. They will never know the love of God if we remove them from our lives. What we should attempt to do is encourage your teen to allow these friends to be more like acquaintances. They will still see them and talk with them on a daily basis, occasionally spending time with them, but we won’t allow them to sway our beliefs. These friends make up more of an outer circle. When teaching teens to stand in a world full of evil and temptation it’s important they know where to draw the line.
Putting this simple principle into practice can make a huge difference in a teen’s life decisions. Talk with your teen about this standard for friendship. Impact your teens friends Considering
my teen years, I can always remember how fun it was to hang out at my
friend’s house. Back then I didn’t realize what I realize now. I
was very fortunate. My two closest friends in high school had amazing
parents. Although I was at their house to hang out with their sons,
their children were not the only ones who had a huge influence in my
life. Both of these families treated me like I was one of their own.
I grew up in a home where I was close with my parents, but the
additional love from an outside source was helpful too. In fact
recent studies have shown that the more positive adult influences a
teen has in their life the better adults they become. Now that I am an adult, I realize how much effort this investment takes. It is hard enough to parent your own children let alone your children’s friends, but trust me it is worth it. You never really know how much of a difference you are making. In fact, to this day I credit both families of my two friends for my passion for youth ministry. They showed me the impact ordinary, everyday people can make on young people. They were not employed by the church yet they showed me the importance of investing your life in other people. So based on what I have experienced growing up and what I have put into practice in my own life here are some ideas how to not only be a smart parent but how to make a difference in the life of your teen’s friends. Tips for parents
A lack of friends can have a negative affect on teens
God created us to interact with other human beings on many levels. In fact our purpose in life is centered around loving people. Parent relationships, dating, authority figures, friends and even acquaintances are all part of that. Of course we want our teens to have positive influences but dealing with all types of people is a part of life. Encourage and allow your teen to develop healthy friendships throughout his or her youth. |
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